Finding Strength in Softness, Part 2

I now have no problem enjoying the water in my birthday suit.

You have read the first part of Finding Strength in Softness. Here is part 2 so you can see where she is at in her goddess transformation and awakening journey. Enjoy reading! I am so proud of her!

I think that a lot of women, myself included, feel silly when they dare to think that they’re “sexy.” And the sad truth is that it’s likely because of the criticisms we feel from other women when we own our fierceness.

As an overweight youth, and very overweight young adult, my body is not something I’ve ever reveled in. It was never what gave me confidence or made me feel free. In fact, it was my prison, holding me back from opening up to people, feeling confident, or comfortable in my own skin.

Surprisingly, losing a significant amount weight did not result in those things either. I became perhaps even more self-conscious of my body than I had been previously. What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that self-worth was the key to bringing out that freedom, not the physical changes. And that was  something I had not yet fully developed until earlier this year.

And what naturally happens when you begin to stand fully in your self worth? You get tested.

I now love to flirt and have fun and especially when in front of the camera.

Recently, on a boat outing with my friend and unintentional style goddess and teacher of femininity, tu-anh love, I was presented with perhaps the smallest outfit I’ve ever put on my body and instructed to pose in it for a professional photographer. I’ve worn shirts with double the fabric of this supposedly “full-body” get-up. With two men on the boat with us, I was feeling especially conscious of my body and what it must look like in this teeny piece of fabric. Pre self-worth (and wine), I would have refused. But my will is not as persuasive as the creative life force known as tu-anh.

And I can’t lie… I felt sexy. Like, seriously sexy. And I wasn’t *hating* the encouragement from our men. In this space, with these people, in the sun and on the water (my happy place), I gave myself permission to not overthink it and simply just have fun. I’ll admit, it took all of those elements to get me to that mental space. But now that I’ve experienced that, it’s incredibly difficult to go back.

Fashionably fabulous and free she felt in this little piece of style.

What’s changed since then?

  • I’m not shy about being in a bathing suit — and no longer care that I don’t have a model body.
  • I don’t feel shy about owning my femininity.
  • I flirt, a lot actually. At the gym, the grocery store, walking in my neighborhood…
  • I post photos on Instagram just because I feel sexy and want to share and empower other women. No more shame in my game!
  • I don’t take myself so seriously because life’s too short.

More importantly, what I’ve discovered for myself is that sexiness isn’t about looks. It’s about freedom. Freedom from what anyone else thinks — and freedom from the thoughts that used to hold me back. And wow, the power that can be gained from that. Ladies, I’m daring you to embrace your femininity,  your sexuality and do it with no fear, no shame, and no guilt! I will be back for my finale!

tu-anh Love and I on one of our boat outings…

Happy New Moon and International Goddess Day!

Happy New Moon in Taurus and International Goddess Day! For those of you from all over the world who are reading my post, please send love, healing, and light to all those wonderful and amazing goddesses in your life. Celebrate their strength, their spirits, and their hearts! Join me in welcoming the arrival of Spring, my favorite season. This is the season of rebirth and transformation. Let us all sing as if no one is listening and dance as if the whole world is watching us. I am so excited to embark on a new chapter of my life starting today, the chapter that was written for me many lifetimes ago. And tomorrow, I will not look back at today nor yesterday. My life moving forward will be a life full of hope, a life of truth, a life of charity and devotion, and most importantly, a life filled with only and simply love! I will face the world with boldness, without fear, without darkness and sadness, and with only creative self-expression that feeds my soul purpose and turn my dreams into reality. I am grateful to God, the Angels, and the Universe for being my teachers, my spirit guides, and my inner life force during this journey into enlightenment and becoming an awakened being. I feel very blessed.
~tu-anh love

P.S. Thank you to my long time friend and photographer Charles Martin for the photos as my Birthday gift. 🙂 The vintage dress is from Goodwill of Greater Washington and the sparkling jewels are my from Goddess collection I designed and created.

I love being by the water to recharge and rejuvenate!

One Door Closes, Another Door Opens…New Moon in Virgo

eyes closing

At the end of a work day when no one is around, I like to close my eyes and just dream in quietness.

When you want something to change in your life really badly, all you have to do is ask!  Are you feeling the energy of this new moon in Virgo today? I have! At least over this past weekend I did. I have been asking the universe to give me signs and clarity for my romantic life. And surely, I got what I asked for. A relationship that has not been emotionally healthy for me finally had closure. I feel so relieved while at the same time hurt and sad, but I am glad that I finally have closure and am able to move on with my life. Don’t get me wrong. I was a hot mess this weekend. For the past few days, I felt like the world had ended. I slept lots and was not very productive at work.

But this morning, I woke up to the energy of this new moon in Virgo and told myself “tu-anh, you need to snap out of it, what happened was meant to be so that you could heal and grow.” And so…I am now out of that darkness and sadness.

In the meantime, I am so excited about my new found emotional freedom. It is the perfect time for me to take charge of my life and get clear about what I want, who I want, and where I want to go. I am learning to slow down and carefully monitoring my thoughts and actions to make sure they all align with my life’s purpose and what I truly stand for…Love, Beauty, Sensuality, Happiness and Truth…

I can feel doors closing and new doors opening around me day by day. I wish, for example, I could share with you a wonderful miracle that happened today at the sanctuary. But for now, I will celebrate this new moon energy and indulge in a therapeutic goddess essential-oils bath with beautiful rose petals floating around me. After tonight, my mind and body will be cleansed and healed from any fears and doubts that have been holding me back from living my most beautiful life.

So here is to new love, new life, and new doors opening! I am so thrilled! And you, will you celebrate this new moon energy along with me tonight?

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Solitude is the best medicine for the soul.

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They remind me to take time and be still.

embrace

Let go and receive the gifts of the universe!