Autumn, A Time for Mindfulness and Transformation Within.

I said… “I love Spring, but there is just something very sensual and romantic about the falling leaves and rich colors of Autumn and the feeling that arises within me, especially on a cold rainy afternoon.” And he said… “If … Continue reading

Finding Strength in Softness, Part 2

I now have no problem enjoying the water in my birthday suit.

You have read the first part of Finding Strength in Softness. Here is part 2 so you can see where she is at in her goddess transformation and awakening journey. Enjoy reading! I am so proud of her!

I think that a lot of women, myself included, feel silly when they dare to think that they’re “sexy.” And the sad truth is that it’s likely because of the criticisms we feel from other women when we own our fierceness.

As an overweight youth, and very overweight young adult, my body is not something I’ve ever reveled in. It was never what gave me confidence or made me feel free. In fact, it was my prison, holding me back from opening up to people, feeling confident, or comfortable in my own skin.

Surprisingly, losing a significant amount weight did not result in those things either. I became perhaps even more self-conscious of my body than I had been previously. What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that self-worth was the key to bringing out that freedom, not the physical changes. And that was  something I had not yet fully developed until earlier this year.

And what naturally happens when you begin to stand fully in your self worth? You get tested.

I now love to flirt and have fun and especially when in front of the camera.

Recently, on a boat outing with my friend and unintentional style goddess and teacher of femininity, tu-anh love, I was presented with perhaps the smallest outfit I’ve ever put on my body and instructed to pose in it for a professional photographer. I’ve worn shirts with double the fabric of this supposedly “full-body” get-up. With two men on the boat with us, I was feeling especially conscious of my body and what it must look like in this teeny piece of fabric. Pre self-worth (and wine), I would have refused. But my will is not as persuasive as the creative life force known as tu-anh.

And I can’t lie… I felt sexy. Like, seriously sexy. And I wasn’t *hating* the encouragement from our men. In this space, with these people, in the sun and on the water (my happy place), I gave myself permission to not overthink it and simply just have fun. I’ll admit, it took all of those elements to get me to that mental space. But now that I’ve experienced that, it’s incredibly difficult to go back.

Fashionably fabulous and free she felt in this little piece of style.

What’s changed since then?

  • I’m not shy about being in a bathing suit — and no longer care that I don’t have a model body.
  • I don’t feel shy about owning my femininity.
  • I flirt, a lot actually. At the gym, the grocery store, walking in my neighborhood…
  • I post photos on Instagram just because I feel sexy and want to share and empower other women. No more shame in my game!
  • I don’t take myself so seriously because life’s too short.

More importantly, what I’ve discovered for myself is that sexiness isn’t about looks. It’s about freedom. Freedom from what anyone else thinks — and freedom from the thoughts that used to hold me back. And wow, the power that can be gained from that. Ladies, I’m daring you to embrace your femininity,  your sexuality and do it with no fear, no shame, and no guilt! I will be back for my finale!

tu-anh Love and I on one of our boat outings…

My Old Soul and Its Quest for Love

When your heart is open and balanced, your plants can feel it, too!

I am really not bothered by my high expectations in others, especially in my future forever “til death do us part” partner in crime and lover. You have to be a very self-aware and secure man in your own confident Titan skin to handle a modern day goddess like moi.  Since my divorce four years ago, I have been in a love affair with myself and having a lot of fun enjoying my own company and exploring a life full of freedom and creative self-expression.I have been told that I am too “picky,” and that my expectations are too high. But the truth is, I am an old soul and I have a big mission to accomplish in this lifetime that I cannot afford to lose time over distractions that do not serve my purpose. For years, my love life has been 2nd priority to my work of bringing beauty, sensuality and light to others.  Don’t get me wrong: if miraculously, I happen to stumble upon a handsome, gallant and honest titan who shares the same values, dreams and life’s aspirations as me, I will ultimately follow the guidance of my heart. But until then, if it takes forever, I will wait for that perfect true SOUL LOVE instead of settling for someone that is just “Good enough”.I have been wanting to write a post about old souls and true love for a very long time, but this article below was perfectly written for me and for many old souls out there who may be somewhat confused or thinking that something is wrong with them. I want to share this with you that a dear goddess friend sent me a few weeks ago. After reading it, I felt like Brianna Wiest, the author, was thinking of me when she wrote this. I will elaborate on this article with more detailed explanation later, but in the meantime, what do you think?

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity. They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships. Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationshipsThey’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from. They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

Nini Love and I have a mission to bring joy to the world around us!

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility. Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways. Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love. And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.” Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high. They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

When I am alone is when my dreams are manifesting.

11. They have baggage.People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

I like my home sanctuary to be filled with pretty purple flowers for royalty and spitituality and white for keeping my space cleansed and pure.