21 Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

Motivational image from my father.

Thich Nhat Hanh, my spiritual mentor has given me so much knowledge and wisdom on love and self- enlightenment that I would like to share with you.  The questions below which I took from his book, How to Love, will give you a better understanding of the relationship with the one you love, or with the one whom you believe you once loved. I am hoping that you will take the time to do this short exercise and experience its healing effect. These questions not only will help you in your existing relationship, but also in the strained ones. If you need to make a decision on whether or not to release a relationship that has not fulfilled you emotionally and spiritually, these questions will definitely open your mind to what is true for you and help you find the answer to love.

I, too have a confession to make: I once had a soulmate relationship with an intelligent, kind, handsome, and very chivalrous titan that dragged on and off for over 15 years and that was not good for my emotional well-being. Even though he is no longer in my life, my heart was wishy-washy about letting thoughts of him go. I kept imagining what it would be like if miraculously, he were to change and open his heart to me and allow his vulnerable side to be revealed. I never had the chance to know him deeply and truly. Finally, I have decided to do this heartfelt exercise below just to experience release and closure.  To my surprise, I was able to release him from my heart and healed my soul.  I am complete with this relationship.  I invite you to try answering these questions and experience it for yourself…

20 Questions for Looking into your Relationship – by Thich Nhat Hanh

  1. Are you in love? Yes, I think so.
  2. Are you still in love? Yes, I think so.
  3. Do you want to reconnect with the person who used to be the one you love? I am not really sure.
  4. Do you think that this person is happy? No, I don’t think so.
  5. Do you have the time for each other? I can make time for him, but I cannot answer for him.
  6. Have you been able to preserve your true presence for yourself and for the other person? Yes of course, but I don’t always feel that he is present for me.
  7. Are you capable of offering him or her freshness every day? Of course I am because routine bores me and I like exploring and trying new things.
  8. Do you know how to handle the suffering in yourself? Yes I do, but when it comes to Love, I am not so certain that I have mastered this area.
  9. Are you able to help handle the suffering in the other person? Yes, I believe I am able to do so…but the one I love has never showed his true suffering to me.
  10. Do you understand the roots of your own suffering? Yes I do.
  11. Are you able to understand the suffering in the other person? I have yet to experience any true suffering in him.
  12. Do you have the capacity to help the other person suffer less? Yes I do if he allows me to.
  13. Have you learned the way to calm down your painful feelings and emotions? Yes, I have truly.
  14. Do you have the time to listen to yourself and your deepest desire? Yes I do make the time to listen to myself, but as for my deepest desire related to love, I have not truly made the time.
  15. Do you have the time to listen to him or her and to help him or her suffer less? Yes I can make the time but I haven’t been given the opportunity to know what the suffering is.
  16. Are you capable of creating a feeling of joy for yourself? Yes absolutely, it’s my favorite thing to do.
  17. Are you capable of helping the other person to create a feeling of joy? Yes I am confident I can do that if he gives me a chance to do so. 
  18. Do you feel you have a clear spiritual path? Yes, wholeheartedly.
  19. Do you have the feeling of peace and contentment within yourself? Yes!
  20. Do you know how to nourish your love every day? Oh my Goddess, Yes!

How to Love is my very favorite book and I truly believe that every goddess and titan needs to have it in their personal library collection and read it often. Try to answer these questions for yourself and allow your heart to truly awaken and feel the love that is right for you. Remember to always be truthful with what is in your heart. If you are up for it, answer my question below after you have finished the 20 questions above.

  1. Can you see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life? No, because I do not believe that I can truly be my passionate, creative, wildly-mad-about-life goddess self! So you can imagine that this question obviously helped me to move on and release him from my life.

So there you have it. I am healed from this emotionally unfulfilling relationship. And please don’t even try to entertain the thought of who this titan could possibly be because that is for me to know and for you to always wonder about…. 🙂 xo

This love is real and long-lasting!

Journal Writing is My Medicine

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I apologize if my recent post seemed dark, moody, and somewhat emotional. I am in a much better place now. So with the Full Moon in September finishing up, I want to open you up to another powerful way to connect with your higher self: journal writing. It is a holistic approach to traditional therapy, and it really helps you to practice your communication skills, open up your Throat Chakra, and manage depression. Well, at least for me, it does!  When you are able to put your thoughts and desires into words, a lot of miracles and magic will start to manifest in your life.  Journal writing is an incredible holistic way to help you through sadness, guide you through life, and also help manifest your thoughts and desires into reality while being a very meditative and healing activity.

I believe that my very first journal was at age 6 in Vietnam, but of course through all the moving from one place to the next and hiding from the Communists, my journals got lost along the way. So I started again at age 11 here in the United States, but again, because of all the moves, once again, I lost all those journals. Now in my forties and in a much more grounded space in life, I love writing in my journals daily.  It is my way of connecting with my higher self, with God, with the angels, and with the universal energy. It is also my therapy to alleviate any anxiety or depression in my life, which I once a month go through for a few days.  For me, aromatherapy, nature walks with my Nini Love, spending time with my adorable darling nieces,  and writing in my journal are the best forms of medicine. This is why I am rarely under the weather.

As you will see below there is no end to what you can journal about to feel more in tune with your higher self. Not sure where to start or what to write? There is no right or wrong: simply take a few minutes daily with a nice pen and write anything that comes to mind. Don’t over think it. Just start from the bottom of your heart and get in tune with how you feel and then the words will write themselves onto your journal. Why not begin with gratitude? List the things you are grateful for in your life and the rest will flow with ease!  This is also a way for you to get to know yourself and bring you closer to your heart’s desires and manifest your dreams.

We always keep a full stock of inspiring journals in my our goddess sanctuary and lifestyle boutique – see some of my favorites below. And please keep the sharing emails coming. I really appreciate all of that.

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I love motivational words!

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Great reminder to love yourself!

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This is a much more free-flowing format! Write to your heart’s content and be ready for inspiration at the turn of each page.

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This is a fun journal full of prompts for both writing and drawing to express yourself! I just opened it up at random to the most beautiful quote that encapsulates my idea of journaling to connect with the universe, “the secret of all is to write in the gush, the throb, the flood, of the moment- to put things down without deliberation- without worrying about their style- without waiting for a fit time or place.” -Walt Whitman

Goddess Rule #1…Listen To Your Heart

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Can you see the heart above the candle flame? Magical, isn’t it?

Since the launch of our Goddess Sanctuary on November 1, 2014, I have been getting many emails and questions coming in asking me about “How to be a Goddess” or “How to awaken the Goddess inside.” Interestingly, at the same time, many quality Titans are also asking me about “How To Attract that Special Goddess.” Well, I am here to tell you that it is not difficult, but not easy either.  But understand this: You are who you attract. Need I say more?

As I begin to share with you these secrets along the way, the #1 Goddess Rule that you must always honor…and that is…LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. Or, in this case, you can say listen to your gut, your intuition, or your internal spiritual guide.

For the past 43 years, my heart has been leading me.  There has been many ups and downs and mistakes made along the way, but all of those were the result of letting the head and other people’s opinions ruled over my heart. They had to happen in order for me to learn important lessons and realize my true power and life’s purpose.

When we live from the heart, there is unconditional love, there is forgiveness, there is kindness, there is truth, there is compassion, there is patience, and most importantly, there are no regrets and resentment. When we are true to our heart, everything will magically turn out with little effort.  People may let us down and betray us, but the heart never will. It does not lie and it will always be loyal to us.

Recently, in my business on the consulting side, I made some decisions based on my head, based on what others say, and based on the facts and data presented to me.  Although everything seemed so right and so perfect, my heart was questioning the situation. Instead of listening to what my heart was trying to tell me, however, I made an executive decision based on my head, and within weeks, what my inner goddess was sensing surfaced and it was not so pretty. The truth came out.

Once again, if I had listened to what my heart was trying to tell me, I would have prevented all that time and money wasted. But no more would have should have. I am moving forward and never again disobey my heart. 🙂

Have you experienced what I have? If so, I hope you will take my advice and do not ever forget this #1 Goddess Rule. If your heart chakra is weak and out of balance, then you must work on strengthening it.  There are many exercises that you can do to help with that and connecting with nature is one of them.  I will give you some ideas about how you can get the Heart Chakra open and more balanced in my next post.

Love and Light to you always,

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