I love him because…

He’s on my mind when I am in the presence of beauty and all living things.

Today is April 11th, the Full Moon is a little over a week away. I am seeing signs of his presence everywhere I go and even in my dreams. It was so real, so passionate, and so magical. I feel him so close, yet so far. Oh how much I miss him, his energy, his divine masculine existence that no other man I know has and no other man can compare. Even though we are not together in the physical, I feel it deep down in my heart that we are meant to be together and will be together when GOD has decided so. There was a reason for our separation. We each have to part ways so that we can heal, learn, and grow within ourselves.

I had a little bit of an emotional start to my day this morning and a conversation with a very dear and wise Goddess adviser in my life uplifted me, gave me hope and strength, and she reminded me of this beautiful love poem written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning to her husband, Robert Browning during the Victorian Era in which I have by my bedside table. The verses in bold are of significance to he and I.

I Love You

I love you not only for what you are
but for what I am when I’m with you.

I love you not only for what you have
made of yourself but what you are making
of me;

I love you for putting your hand into my
heaped up heart and passing over all the 
foolish weak things you can’t help dimly
seeing there, and drawing out in the light 
all the beautiful belongings that no one 
else had looked quite far enough to find;

I love you because you are helping me to
make of the lumber of my life not a tavern
but a temple,
out of the work of my every day
life not a reproach but a song.

I love you because you have done more than
any creed could have done to make me good
and more than any fate could have done to
make me happy;

You have done it without a touch, without 
a word, without a sigh;

You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means,
after all.

And he has done it without much effort and by simply being him.

This is more than just a friendship. It is a spiritual bond, a deep soul-connection, a pure and eternal sacred love that no other can ever replace. I love him because he brings out the Goddess in me, the Goddess that I was meant to be. I love him because he is my divine masculine match. And I love him because he is LOVE in a man.

Thanks to my long time fan and photographer Charles Martin for always capturing the best of my Fashion creations and for allowing my vulnerable side to reveal through your lenses.




Love is all I have…

Happy Sunday! Can you believe the year is almost over? Many people speak of love and how much they love another, but how many are actually living the true meaning of love?  Sunday is my favorite day, especially when it … Continue reading

Finding Strength in Softness, Part 2

I now have no problem enjoying the water in my birthday suit.

You have read the first part of Finding Strength in Softness. Here is part 2 so you can see where she is at in her goddess transformation and awakening journey. Enjoy reading! I am so proud of her!

I think that a lot of women, myself included, feel silly when they dare to think that they’re “sexy.” And the sad truth is that it’s likely because of the criticisms we feel from other women when we own our fierceness.

As an overweight youth, and very overweight young adult, my body is not something I’ve ever reveled in. It was never what gave me confidence or made me feel free. In fact, it was my prison, holding me back from opening up to people, feeling confident, or comfortable in my own skin.

Surprisingly, losing a significant amount weight did not result in those things either. I became perhaps even more self-conscious of my body than I had been previously. What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that self-worth was the key to bringing out that freedom, not the physical changes. And that was  something I had not yet fully developed until earlier this year.

And what naturally happens when you begin to stand fully in your self worth? You get tested.

I now love to flirt and have fun and especially when in front of the camera.

Recently, on a boat outing with my friend and unintentional style goddess and teacher of femininity, tu-anh love, I was presented with perhaps the smallest outfit I’ve ever put on my body and instructed to pose in it for a professional photographer. I’ve worn shirts with double the fabric of this supposedly “full-body” get-up. With two men on the boat with us, I was feeling especially conscious of my body and what it must look like in this teeny piece of fabric. Pre self-worth (and wine), I would have refused. But my will is not as persuasive as the creative life force known as tu-anh.

And I can’t lie… I felt sexy. Like, seriously sexy. And I wasn’t *hating* the encouragement from our men. In this space, with these people, in the sun and on the water (my happy place), I gave myself permission to not overthink it and simply just have fun. I’ll admit, it took all of those elements to get me to that mental space. But now that I’ve experienced that, it’s incredibly difficult to go back.

Fashionably fabulous and free she felt in this little piece of style.

What’s changed since then?

  • I’m not shy about being in a bathing suit — and no longer care that I don’t have a model body.
  • I don’t feel shy about owning my femininity.
  • I flirt, a lot actually. At the gym, the grocery store, walking in my neighborhood…
  • I post photos on Instagram just because I feel sexy and want to share and empower other women. No more shame in my game!
  • I don’t take myself so seriously because life’s too short.

More importantly, what I’ve discovered for myself is that sexiness isn’t about looks. It’s about freedom. Freedom from what anyone else thinks — and freedom from the thoughts that used to hold me back. And wow, the power that can be gained from that. Ladies, I’m daring you to embrace your femininity,  your sexuality and do it with no fear, no shame, and no guilt! I will be back for my finale!

tu-anh Love and I on one of our boat outings…