The Four Elements of True Love

Now available in our sanctuary, and I also assign it to my clients to read.

So it seems that I have been looking for love in all the wrong places and with the wrong people for over four decades, without knowing that all along, the answers come from within. I have always been a lover of knowledge, philosophical wisdom, and mystical phenomena, always searching for that one spiritual teacher to guide me through love in addition to God. I have devoured numerous enlightening literature from all over the world – great thinkers, artists, outcasts, religious leaders, and spiritual gurus, and have definitely developed a beautiful, enriching and peaceful frame of reference. But there has always been something missing in my life, no matter how many times I thought that past loves were the one for me, that I had finally found true friends, that I could get true love from my family, something was still off.

In my search to discover the secret ingredients to true love, I finally have found him, my modern day spiritual teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, a renowned Zen master, poet, and peace activist who travels the world and shares his teachings, wise words, and love with people internationally through talks and retreats. His beautifully packaged books and his loving practical, poetic writings really resonated with me in mind, body, and spirit. When I read his words, I get chills of excitement because I have finally found someone in real life that I can call my life teacher because I am forever thirsty for learning, growth, and enriching experiences. I not only love parts or some of his books, I do indeed love them all!

Here is a little taste of his wisdom from  True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, that has shaken my core and thrilled me with such an understanding of what true love really is, and this will forever be the guide to all my relationships in business and personal moving forward, including the relationship with myself. Slowly, we have added a nice collection of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books in my Goddess sanctuary and soon I will have every one of them here for you to read. Enjoy his deep words and brilliant emotional intelligence below…

According to Buddhism, there are four elements of true love.

The first is maitri, which can be translated as loving-kindness or benevolence. Loving-kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, to bring joy to a beloved person; it is the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love, because even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer. Training is needed in order to love properly; and to be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking directed toward the person you love. Because if you do not understand this person, you cannot love properly. Understanding is the essence of love. If you cannot understand, you cannot love. That is the message of the Buddha. If a husband, for example, does not understand his wife’s deepest troubles, her deepest aspirations, if he does not understand her suffering, he will not be able to love her the right way. Without understanding, love is an impossible thing.

What must we do in order to understand a person? We must have time; we must practice looking deeply into this person. We must be there, attentive; we must observe, we must look deeply. And the fruit of this looking deeply is called understanding. Love is a true thing if it is made up of a substance called understanding.

The second element of true love is compassion, karuna. This is not only the desire to ease the pain of another person, but the ability to do so. You must practice deep looking in order to gain a good understanding of the nature of the suffering of this person, in order to be able to help him or her to change. Knowledge and understanding are always at the root of the practice. The practice of understanding is the practice of meditation. To meditate is to look deeply into the heart of things.

The third element of true love is joy, mudita. If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, and if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love – it is even the opposite. If there is no oy in your love, you can be sure that it is not true love.

The fourth element is upeksha, equanimity or freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. “Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?” This is an intelligent question for testing out whether your love is something real.

Well, what do you think? Are these four elements already in your relationships? If so, I congratulate you for being ahead of me. Please share your thoughts with me if it pleasures you so.

Love Always,

tu-anh

True Love is seeing my Nini Love sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face.

22 Ways To Live A Spiritual Life

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I love the energy of the full and new moon. It’s when I feel the most awakened.

Being raised in a strict Asian and Catholic family, “guilt,” “sin,” “anxiety,” “shame,” and “sacrifice” were the words that played importance in my life.  And then, I grew up and understood life a little more and to my surprise, I do not have to be a religious Catholic to be a good person. 🙂
I was very sheltered by my parents when I was young. So it cost me some great relationships, some mistakes made, and lessons learned to reach the life that I am currently living. In fact, by the time I turned 40 I was already living a spiritual life…and I did not even know it.
I truly believe an awake being is an aware being, and that is a person already living on a spiritual path.
Here are 22 ways to know if you are already living a spiritual life:
  1. You know who you are and what you want
  2. Love is the reason you exist
  3. You follow your heart and not always your head
  4. You listen to your intuition
  5. You believe in dreams coming true
  6. You love animalschildren, and nature
  7. You love inspiring others to help themselves
  8. You focus on the positives instead of the negatives
  9. You live everyday as if you may not have another day to live
  10. You love unconditionally
  11. You give freely without any expectations
  12. You live your life with only truth and nothing else
  13. You forgive easily and don’t hold grudges or resentment
  14. Your embrace your feminine and masculine energy
  15. You appreciate quality over quantity
  16. You take care of yourself – body, mind, and spirit
  17. You appreciate your alone and quiet time
  18. All your senses are heightened and awakened
  19. You engage yourself in many creative endeavors
  20. You believe that everything happens for a reason and there are no mistakes
  21. You are willing to confront your inner darkness
  22. You are constantly learning, growing, and improving yourself

Are you already living a spiritual life?

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My Nini Love teaches me the importance of keeping calm and carrying on 😘.

Goddess Rule #1…Listen To Your Heart

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Can you see the heart above the candle flame? Magical, isn’t it?

Since the launch of our Goddess Sanctuary on November 1, 2014, I have been getting many emails and questions coming in asking me about “How to be a Goddess” or “How to awaken the Goddess inside.” Interestingly, at the same time, many quality Titans are also asking me about “How To Attract that Special Goddess.” Well, I am here to tell you that it is not difficult, but not easy either.  But understand this: You are who you attract. Need I say more?

As I begin to share with you these secrets along the way, the #1 Goddess Rule that you must always honor…and that is…LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. Or, in this case, you can say listen to your gut, your intuition, or your internal spiritual guide.

For the past 43 years, my heart has been leading me.  There has been many ups and downs and mistakes made along the way, but all of those were the result of letting the head and other people’s opinions ruled over my heart. They had to happen in order for me to learn important lessons and realize my true power and life’s purpose.

When we live from the heart, there is unconditional love, there is forgiveness, there is kindness, there is truth, there is compassion, there is patience, and most importantly, there are no regrets and resentment. When we are true to our heart, everything will magically turn out with little effort.  People may let us down and betray us, but the heart never will. It does not lie and it will always be loyal to us.

Recently, in my business on the consulting side, I made some decisions based on my head, based on what others say, and based on the facts and data presented to me.  Although everything seemed so right and so perfect, my heart was questioning the situation. Instead of listening to what my heart was trying to tell me, however, I made an executive decision based on my head, and within weeks, what my inner goddess was sensing surfaced and it was not so pretty. The truth came out.

Once again, if I had listened to what my heart was trying to tell me, I would have prevented all that time and money wasted. But no more would have should have. I am moving forward and never again disobey my heart. 🙂

Have you experienced what I have? If so, I hope you will take my advice and do not ever forget this #1 Goddess Rule. If your heart chakra is weak and out of balance, then you must work on strengthening it.  There are many exercises that you can do to help with that and connecting with nature is one of them.  I will give you some ideas about how you can get the Heart Chakra open and more balanced in my next post.

Love and Light to you always,

tu-anh