My Old Soul and Its Quest for Love

When your heart is open and balanced, your plants can feel it, too!

I am really not bothered by my high expectations in others, especially in my future forever “til death do us part” partner in crime and lover. You have to be a very self-aware and secure man in your own confident Titan skin to handle a modern day goddess like moi.  Since my divorce four years ago, I have been in a love affair with myself and having a lot of fun enjoying my own company and exploring a life full of freedom and creative self-expression.I have been told that I am too “picky,” and that my expectations are too high. But the truth is, I am an old soul and I have a big mission to accomplish in this lifetime that I cannot afford to lose time over distractions that do not serve my purpose. For years, my love life has been 2nd priority to my work of bringing beauty, sensuality and light to others.  Don’t get me wrong: if miraculously, I happen to stumble upon a handsome, gallant and honest titan who shares the same values, dreams and life’s aspirations as me, I will ultimately follow the guidance of my heart. But until then, if it takes forever, I will wait for that perfect true SOUL LOVE instead of settling for someone that is just “Good enough”.I have been wanting to write a post about old souls and true love for a very long time, but this article below was perfectly written for me and for many old souls out there who may be somewhat confused or thinking that something is wrong with them. I want to share this with you that a dear goddess friend sent me a few weeks ago. After reading it, I felt like Brianna Wiest, the author, was thinking of me when she wrote this. I will elaborate on this article with more detailed explanation later, but in the meantime, what do you think?

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity. They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships. Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationshipsThey’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from. They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

Nini Love and I have a mission to bring joy to the world around us!

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility. Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways. Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love. And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.” Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high. They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

When I am alone is when my dreams are manifesting.

11. They have baggage.People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

I like my home sanctuary to be filled with pretty purple flowers for royalty and spitituality and white for keeping my space cleansed and pure.

The Four Elements of True Love

Now available in our sanctuary, and I also assign it to my clients to read.

So it seems that I have been looking for love in all the wrong places and with the wrong people for over four decades, without knowing that all along, the answers come from within. I have always been a lover of knowledge, philosophical wisdom, and mystical phenomena, always searching for that one spiritual teacher to guide me through love in addition to God. I have devoured numerous enlightening literature from all over the world – great thinkers, artists, outcasts, religious leaders, and spiritual gurus, and have definitely developed a beautiful, enriching and peaceful frame of reference. But there has always been something missing in my life, no matter how many times I thought that past loves were the one for me, that I had finally found true friends, that I could get true love from my family, something was still off.

In my search to discover the secret ingredients to true love, I finally have found him, my modern day spiritual teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, a renowned Zen master, poet, and peace activist who travels the world and shares his teachings, wise words, and love with people internationally through talks and retreats. His beautifully packaged books and his loving practical, poetic writings really resonated with me in mind, body, and spirit. When I read his words, I get chills of excitement because I have finally found someone in real life that I can call my life teacher because I am forever thirsty for learning, growth, and enriching experiences. I not only love parts or some of his books, I do indeed love them all!

Here is a little taste of his wisdom from  True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, that has shaken my core and thrilled me with such an understanding of what true love really is, and this will forever be the guide to all my relationships in business and personal moving forward, including the relationship with myself. Slowly, we have added a nice collection of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books in my Goddess sanctuary and soon I will have every one of them here for you to read. Enjoy his deep words and brilliant emotional intelligence below…

According to Buddhism, there are four elements of true love.

The first is maitri, which can be translated as loving-kindness or benevolence. Loving-kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, to bring joy to a beloved person; it is the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love, because even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer. Training is needed in order to love properly; and to be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking directed toward the person you love. Because if you do not understand this person, you cannot love properly. Understanding is the essence of love. If you cannot understand, you cannot love. That is the message of the Buddha. If a husband, for example, does not understand his wife’s deepest troubles, her deepest aspirations, if he does not understand her suffering, he will not be able to love her the right way. Without understanding, love is an impossible thing.

What must we do in order to understand a person? We must have time; we must practice looking deeply into this person. We must be there, attentive; we must observe, we must look deeply. And the fruit of this looking deeply is called understanding. Love is a true thing if it is made up of a substance called understanding.

The second element of true love is compassion, karuna. This is not only the desire to ease the pain of another person, but the ability to do so. You must practice deep looking in order to gain a good understanding of the nature of the suffering of this person, in order to be able to help him or her to change. Knowledge and understanding are always at the root of the practice. The practice of understanding is the practice of meditation. To meditate is to look deeply into the heart of things.

The third element of true love is joy, mudita. If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, and if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love – it is even the opposite. If there is no oy in your love, you can be sure that it is not true love.

The fourth element is upeksha, equanimity or freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. “Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?” This is an intelligent question for testing out whether your love is something real.

Well, what do you think? Are these four elements already in your relationships? If so, I congratulate you for being ahead of me. Please share your thoughts with me if it pleasures you so.

Love Always,

tu-anh

True Love is seeing my Nini Love sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face.

22 Ways To Live A Spiritual Life

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I love the energy of the full and new moon. It’s when I feel the most awakened.

Being raised in a strict Asian and Catholic family, “guilt,” “sin,” “anxiety,” “shame,” and “sacrifice” were the words that played importance in my life.  And then, I grew up and understood life a little more and to my surprise, I do not have to be a religious Catholic to be a good person. 🙂
I was very sheltered by my parents when I was young. So it cost me some great relationships, some mistakes made, and lessons learned to reach the life that I am currently living. In fact, by the time I turned 40 I was already living a spiritual life…and I did not even know it.
I truly believe an awake being is an aware being, and that is a person already living on a spiritual path.
Here are 22 ways to know if you are already living a spiritual life:
  1. You know who you are and what you want
  2. Love is the reason you exist
  3. You follow your heart and not always your head
  4. You listen to your intuition
  5. You believe in dreams coming true
  6. You love animalschildren, and nature
  7. You love inspiring others to help themselves
  8. You focus on the positives instead of the negatives
  9. You live everyday as if you may not have another day to live
  10. You love unconditionally
  11. You give freely without any expectations
  12. You live your life with only truth and nothing else
  13. You forgive easily and don’t hold grudges or resentment
  14. Your embrace your feminine and masculine energy
  15. You appreciate quality over quantity
  16. You take care of yourself – body, mind, and spirit
  17. You appreciate your alone and quiet time
  18. All your senses are heightened and awakened
  19. You engage yourself in many creative endeavors
  20. You believe that everything happens for a reason and there are no mistakes
  21. You are willing to confront your inner darkness
  22. You are constantly learning, growing, and improving yourself

Are you already living a spiritual life?

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My Nini Love teaches me the importance of keeping calm and carrying on 😘.