21 Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

Motivational image from my father.

Thich Nhat Hanh, my spiritual mentor has given me so much knowledge and wisdom on love and self- enlightenment that I would like to share with you.  The questions below which I took from his book, How to Love, will give you a better understanding of the relationship with the one you love, or with the one whom you believe you once loved. I am hoping that you will take the time to do this short exercise and experience its healing effect. These questions not only will help you in your existing relationship, but also in the strained ones. If you need to make a decision on whether or not to release a relationship that has not fulfilled you emotionally and spiritually, these questions will definitely open your mind to what is true for you and help you find the answer to love.

I, too have a confession to make: I once had a soulmate relationship with an intelligent, kind, handsome, and very chivalrous titan that dragged on and off for over 15 years and that was not good for my emotional well-being. Even though he is no longer in my life, my heart was wishy-washy about letting thoughts of him go. I kept imagining what it would be like if miraculously, he were to change and open his heart to me and allow his vulnerable side to be revealed. I never had the chance to know him deeply and truly. Finally, I have decided to do this heartfelt exercise below just to experience release and closure.  To my surprise, I was able to release him from my heart and healed my soul.  I am complete with this relationship.  I invite you to try answering these questions and experience it for yourself…

20 Questions for Looking into your Relationship – by Thich Nhat Hanh

  1. Are you in love? Yes, I think so.
  2. Are you still in love? Yes, I think so.
  3. Do you want to reconnect with the person who used to be the one you love? I am not really sure.
  4. Do you think that this person is happy? No, I don’t think so.
  5. Do you have the time for each other? I can make time for him, but I cannot answer for him.
  6. Have you been able to preserve your true presence for yourself and for the other person? Yes of course, but I don’t always feel that he is present for me.
  7. Are you capable of offering him or her freshness every day? Of course I am because routine bores me and I like exploring and trying new things.
  8. Do you know how to handle the suffering in yourself? Yes I do, but when it comes to Love, I am not so certain that I have mastered this area.
  9. Are you able to help handle the suffering in the other person? Yes, I believe I am able to do so…but the one I love has never showed his true suffering to me.
  10. Do you understand the roots of your own suffering? Yes I do.
  11. Are you able to understand the suffering in the other person? I have yet to experience any true suffering in him.
  12. Do you have the capacity to help the other person suffer less? Yes I do if he allows me to.
  13. Have you learned the way to calm down your painful feelings and emotions? Yes, I have truly.
  14. Do you have the time to listen to yourself and your deepest desire? Yes I do make the time to listen to myself, but as for my deepest desire related to love, I have not truly made the time.
  15. Do you have the time to listen to him or her and to help him or her suffer less? Yes I can make the time but I haven’t been given the opportunity to know what the suffering is.
  16. Are you capable of creating a feeling of joy for yourself? Yes absolutely, it’s my favorite thing to do.
  17. Are you capable of helping the other person to create a feeling of joy? Yes I am confident I can do that if he gives me a chance to do so. 
  18. Do you feel you have a clear spiritual path? Yes, wholeheartedly.
  19. Do you have the feeling of peace and contentment within yourself? Yes!
  20. Do you know how to nourish your love every day? Oh my Goddess, Yes!

How to Love is my very favorite book and I truly believe that every goddess and titan needs to have it in their personal library collection and read it often. Try to answer these questions for yourself and allow your heart to truly awaken and feel the love that is right for you. Remember to always be truthful with what is in your heart. If you are up for it, answer my question below after you have finished the 20 questions above.

  1. Can you see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life? No, because I do not believe that I can truly be my passionate, creative, wildly-mad-about-life goddess self! So you can imagine that this question obviously helped me to move on and release him from my life.

So there you have it. I am healed from this emotionally unfulfilling relationship. And please don’t even try to entertain the thought of who this titan could possibly be because that is for me to know and for you to always wonder about…. 🙂 xo

This love is real and long-lasting!

Let’s Wake Up to the Moment

Photo: Karen Ari Sami Location: Lorien Hotel and Spa

Greetings to you,

It’s been too long. I hope life has been treating you well. I have had some moments of emotional ups and downs in the past two months, but overall life has been very kind to me since I turned 45 on May 15. It feels like I am going into a phase of self-mastery, knowledge, and spiritual power that I cannot explain to you at the moment.

After the past month of being with and around people every day, I am finally making time to relax and recharge. Below are some words of wisdom from my favorite spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh‘s book How to Relax. Sometimes, the only way to relax is not in trying, but simply in just giving a command to our mind, body, and spirit to do so.

Waking Up to the Moment

Walking meditation is a way of waking up to the wonderful moment we are living in. If our mind is caught, preoccupied with our worries and our suffering, or if we distract ourselves with other things while walking, we can’t practice mindfulness; we can’t enjoy the present moment. We’re missing out on life, but if we are awake, then we’ll see this is a wonderful moment that life has given us, the only moment in which life is available. We can value each step we take, and each step can bring us happiness because we are in touch with life, with the source of happiness, and with our beloved planet.

I hope you enjoy the wisdom above. For me, walking is a daily meditation that I cannot live without. Regardless of where I am at the moment, walking at sunrise and sunset are usually my must-do activities. Most often, I prefer to do it alone and in silence so that I can hear the birds and the bees singing, whistling, and chirping.

Try walking without shoes. It feels amazing!

22 Ways To Live A Spiritual Life

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I love the energy of the full and new moon. It’s when I feel the most awakened.

Being raised in a strict Asian and Catholic family, “guilt,” “sin,” “anxiety,” “shame,” and “sacrifice” were the words that played importance in my life.  And then, I grew up and understood life a little more and to my surprise, I do not have to be a religious Catholic to be a good person. 🙂
I was very sheltered by my parents when I was young. So it cost me some great relationships, some mistakes made, and lessons learned to reach the life that I am currently living. In fact, by the time I turned 40 I was already living a spiritual life…and I did not even know it.
I truly believe an awake being is an aware being, and that is a person already living on a spiritual path.
Here are 22 ways to know if you are already living a spiritual life:
  1. You know who you are and what you want
  2. Love is the reason you exist
  3. You follow your heart and not always your head
  4. You listen to your intuition
  5. You believe in dreams coming true
  6. You love animalschildren, and nature
  7. You love inspiring others to help themselves
  8. You focus on the positives instead of the negatives
  9. You live everyday as if you may not have another day to live
  10. You love unconditionally
  11. You give freely without any expectations
  12. You live your life with only truth and nothing else
  13. You forgive easily and don’t hold grudges or resentment
  14. Your embrace your feminine and masculine energy
  15. You appreciate quality over quantity
  16. You take care of yourself – body, mind, and spirit
  17. You appreciate your alone and quiet time
  18. All your senses are heightened and awakened
  19. You engage yourself in many creative endeavors
  20. You believe that everything happens for a reason and there are no mistakes
  21. You are willing to confront your inner darkness
  22. You are constantly learning, growing, and improving yourself

Are you already living a spiritual life?

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My Nini Love teaches me the importance of keeping calm and carrying on 😘.