My Old Soul and Its Quest for Love

When your heart is open and balanced, your plants can feel it, too!

I am really not bothered by my high expectations in others, especially in my future forever “til death do us part” partner in crime and lover. You have to be a very self-aware and secure man in your own confident Titan skin to handle a modern day goddess like moi.  Since my divorce four years ago, I have been in a love affair with myself and having a lot of fun enjoying my own company and exploring a life full of freedom and creative self-expression.I have been told that I am too “picky,” and that my expectations are too high. But the truth is, I am an old soul and I have a big mission to accomplish in this lifetime that I cannot afford to lose time over distractions that do not serve my purpose. For years, my love life has been 2nd priority to my work of bringing beauty, sensuality and light to others.  Don’t get me wrong: if miraculously, I happen to stumble upon a handsome, gallant and honest titan who shares the same values, dreams and life’s aspirations as me, I will ultimately follow the guidance of my heart. But until then, if it takes forever, I will wait for that perfect true SOUL LOVE instead of settling for someone that is just “Good enough”.I have been wanting to write a post about old souls and true love for a very long time, but this article below was perfectly written for me and for many old souls out there who may be somewhat confused or thinking that something is wrong with them. I want to share this with you that a dear goddess friend sent me a few weeks ago. After reading it, I felt like Brianna Wiest, the author, was thinking of me when she wrote this. I will elaborate on this article with more detailed explanation later, but in the meantime, what do you think?

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity. They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships. Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationshipsThey’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from. They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

Nini Love and I have a mission to bring joy to the world around us!

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility. Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways. Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love. And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.” Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high. They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

When I am alone is when my dreams are manifesting.

11. They have baggage.People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

I like my home sanctuary to be filled with pretty purple flowers for royalty and spitituality and white for keeping my space cleansed and pure.

Secrets to a Harmonious Divorce

IMG_2724Divorce: A permanent separation or a formal ending of a marriage between two people who were once connected.

We have seen it, heard it, observed it, and perhaps even experienced it ourselves: how unpleasant, emotionally stressful, and mentally draining a divorce can be between two people who once were madly in love with each other. Do all divorces have to end so ugly? I do not believe so, and I am speaking from my own personal experience.

On my 42nd birthday almost two years ago, the court granted my request to divorce my best friend and soulmate.  Did our divorce end on bad terms? Certainly not, but that does not mean it was not stressful.

Many people were quite surprised. They thought that my ex and I were perfect for each other since we were both driven and outgoing entrepreneurs who also share similar values and upbringings. But that was not enough. When you have two passionate, impatient, driven, hot-headed, and equally strong-minded crazy entrepreneurs together…it equates to an explosion, an imbalance of yin and yang energy.

On paper and in photographs, it seemed perfect.  In reality, we both knew that we needed to be each other’s opposite balance, and that was quite difficult.  For almost two years, we sought coaching, couple’s therapy, retreats, prayers, and romantic getaways to make things work.  At one point, we even thought that perhaps having a baby would change it all, and thank goddess we did not go that route. It just was not in the stars for us to be together as a couple.

We both still love and respect each other very much; we are each other’s best friend and family. Don’t get me wrong: it was very emotionally stressful, and it felt like failure because we both do not give up that easily. But we did promise each other that we would work together to make it a harmonious and painless separation.  And we did so through honest communication. We stayed 100% open and upfront with each other the whole time even when it was difficult and confronting.

I have friends and clients who are going through nasty divorces that have been dragging on for years. It is even more difficult and complicated when children are involved.

While each journey is different, here are some things my ex and I did along the way that contributed to our divorce being harmonious and heartache-free:

  1. Honest and open communication.  During the whole journey, we stayed in communication and shared our thoughts openly, even when they were not so positive.  We knew where we stood with one another.  There was no guessing or playing of games or even walking on eggshells.
  2. Assume good intent. Even before we were married, we were partners in crime and we watched each other’s backs. In this situation we wanted the best for each other. I wanted him to be happy, and he the same for me.
  3. Respect.  What more can I say? The only reason why divorces end ugly is because the two people who were once madly in love have lost respect for one another.  In our case, we have always respected each others’ decisions, actions, opinions, and beliefs. 
  4. Treat it like business. You may not think this is romantic, but really, if you can put your emotions aside and treat your divorce like a business exchange (as you should all relationships to an extent), you both will be much happier.  Communicate, collaborate, prioritize, strategize, plan, and visualize a positive desired outcome. This will help tremendously.
  5. Speak your truths and express yourself.  Please listen to me: no matter how bad it is, speak your truth, even when you know the other person may not want to hear it.  By speaking your truth, you build trust with the other person so that they know you are not just putting up a front.  This will put them less on the defensive side and encourage them to share their truths with you as well.  Getting the unsaid said is the best thing you can do for any relationships.
  6. Lastly, take care of yourself, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  Seek help and support by talking to friends, family, a trusted advisor, or get professional counseling. Exercising and eating healthy, along with lots of sleep, really helped me with my emotional stress. Also, prayers, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, and spending time with my little nieces was oh so heart-healing and calming of the mind. But the biggest stress reliever for me was writing. I wrote in my journal a lot – some days, it was pages and pages of thoughts and emotions….and that is how this blog was born. It has been so therapeutic for me in my spiritual journey of self-discovery and awakening.

Currently, I am in a good place and ready to start a whole new life.  My ex and I are still best friends, and he is one of my biggest clients that I support and counsel. He is dating a wonderful goddess and has already moved on with his life. As for me, I am spending a lot of time getting to know myself and dating me for the first time. It’s actually quite fun and I am loving it! My whole life has been around others’ happiness before my own. Now it is time for me to rejuvenate and put myself first. It feels like being born again. The exciting part is I get to create and design the life I have always wanted. 🙂

Do I see myself being married again? Absolutely! Only this time, my recipe for a happy and long lasting marriage will be of my own, and not of my family, my friends, my culture, nor the Catholic church.  Are you going through a tough divorce right now? Please let me know if I can support you in any way.

Much Love Always,

tu-anh

Who’s That Girl?

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All polished and dressed up before a goddess event.

Have you ever desired to be someone else behind closed doors or may be when the lights are out?  Have you ever wished you could break from the everyday routine of your busy life to try on a different and more interesting persona?  If you are like me, then you are always open to having fun and adding a bit of mystery and intrigue to your life.  This is why I am excited to share with you the Delila, Sybille, and Anna masks that are now available in our goddess sanctuary and online for purchase.

One of my favorite celebrities in the 80s and 90s was Madonna – I was and still am a very, very BIG fan.  As a teenager I would try to emulate her style, and one of the things I love the most about her was her ability to shift her style and attitude to suit her mood or the personality she is projecting in a specific video or performance.  And how did she achieve these changes?  Often she used masks, makeup or other accessories to express herself (pun intended!).

If your life is a bit dull and has too much Titan energy, and you are looking to give it some spice – especially in a relationship that might have become a bit dull and routine – try some role-playing with your romantic partner with one of these these masks. You will for sure add an air of mystery, spontaneity, and sauciness back to your relationship.

Madonna arrives at the 57th annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center on Sunday, Feb. 8, 2015, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

Madonna arrives at the 57th annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center on Sunday, Feb. 8, 2015, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

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Try incorporating body jewels along with your masks for the role playing.

How about being captivating at a party?

Adding the goddess touch with butterflies

Adding the goddess touch with butterflies.