Finding Strength in Softness, Part 2

I now have no problem enjoying the water in my birthday suit.

You have read the first part of Finding Strength in Softness. Here is part 2 so you can see where she is at in her goddess transformation and awakening journey. Enjoy reading! I am so proud of her!

I think that a lot of women, myself included, feel silly when they dare to think that they’re “sexy.” And the sad truth is that it’s likely because of the criticisms we feel from other women when we own our fierceness.

As an overweight youth, and very overweight young adult, my body is not something I’ve ever reveled in. It was never what gave me confidence or made me feel free. In fact, it was my prison, holding me back from opening up to people, feeling confident, or comfortable in my own skin.

Surprisingly, losing a significant amount weight did not result in those things either. I became perhaps even more self-conscious of my body than I had been previously. What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that self-worth was the key to bringing out that freedom, not the physical changes. And that was  something I had not yet fully developed until earlier this year.

And what naturally happens when you begin to stand fully in your self worth? You get tested.

I now love to flirt and have fun and especially when in front of the camera.

Recently, on a boat outing with my friend and unintentional style goddess and teacher of femininity, tu-anh love, I was presented with perhaps the smallest outfit I’ve ever put on my body and instructed to pose in it for a professional photographer. I’ve worn shirts with double the fabric of this supposedly “full-body” get-up. With two men on the boat with us, I was feeling especially conscious of my body and what it must look like in this teeny piece of fabric. Pre self-worth (and wine), I would have refused. But my will is not as persuasive as the creative life force known as tu-anh.

And I can’t lie… I felt sexy. Like, seriously sexy. And I wasn’t *hating* the encouragement from our men. In this space, with these people, in the sun and on the water (my happy place), I gave myself permission to not overthink it and simply just have fun. I’ll admit, it took all of those elements to get me to that mental space. But now that I’ve experienced that, it’s incredibly difficult to go back.

Fashionably fabulous and free she felt in this little piece of style.

What’s changed since then?

  • I’m not shy about being in a bathing suit — and no longer care that I don’t have a model body.
  • I don’t feel shy about owning my femininity.
  • I flirt, a lot actually. At the gym, the grocery store, walking in my neighborhood…
  • I post photos on Instagram just because I feel sexy and want to share and empower other women. No more shame in my game!
  • I don’t take myself so seriously because life’s too short.

More importantly, what I’ve discovered for myself is that sexiness isn’t about looks. It’s about freedom. Freedom from what anyone else thinks — and freedom from the thoughts that used to hold me back. And wow, the power that can be gained from that. Ladies, I’m daring you to embrace your femininity,  your sexuality and do it with no fear, no shame, and no guilt! I will be back for my finale!

tu-anh Love and I on one of our boat outings…

Forties, Fun, Fearless and Fashionably Fabulous – Part 3

I am at my best by the ocean, in pink, and under the sunset!

In my goddess dictionary, an “F” word has nothing to do with profanity. For me, the “F word” stands not only for FREEDOM, but also for a variety of other words which perfectly describe the modern day goddess. As a lover of languages and beautiful speech, here are my 6 favorite “F” words which perfectly depict where I am in my life and how powerful and confident I feel. 

1.       Free – My 4th decade of life moved me suddenly into total confidence to express myself fully without doubt, without worry of others’ opinions, and without constraints. Most importantly, free from guilt, shame and blame! I have never felt so powerful, so honest and so open with my inner truth, and so beautiful in my own light.

2.       Fearless – As I grow older and wiser, I am more brave.  I honestly fear nothing and care very little about what others think of me. I love challenges even more and face adversity as lessons that I have to go through and deal with in order to grow and to learn. After all, life is a journey of learning, living, and loving with all your heart and soul without fear, don’t you think?

3.       Fun –  When I was younger, no one told me that the forties stage was going to be the best decade ever! Now that I am experiencing this wonderful time, I cannot wait to get to the next decade! That just means I am ready for more knowledge, more experiences, more fun, and more wisdom! Because of my total respect for my own freedom and my time, I can guiltlessly choose to do only what I love and be with only those I love who make my life fun and full of surprises. For example, if I feel like hopping on a plane and traveling to a deserted island for some solitude to recharge, I can do so because I choose to and it makes me happy, just like playing volleyball in the park with my favorite goddess and titan at midnight if it so pleases me.

4.       Fabulous – How fabulous is it to be in my forties? I have so much intense inner strength and divine power inside that I naturally attract wonderful and fabulous people and energy everywhere I go without much effort. 

5.       Fashionable – As a fashion designer, taste maker, and lover of sensuality, my own style and how I express myself have changed. How I dress today really defines how I feel deep down inside: Feminine, free, sensual, confident, and spiritually awakened. Fashion is not about expensive clothes and designer labels or even overdoing it. It simply is about celebrating your own personal style and natural beauty while keeping it timeless, unique, feminine, and with understated sex appeal. And less is always more in my “tu-anh LOVE” dictionary.  When it comes to fashion, a goddess should keep it feminine and tasteful and wear natural fabrics that allow the body to breathe and be free to move with ease. When we look good and feel good, we bring joy to those around us and that is oh so fashionably forties and fab!

Boating fun with my fashionista goddess fans on the Potomac.

And Lastly, Feminine is #6 on my list of favorite “F” words. In my teenage years, my body grew up much faster than I did. For a period of time, I always felt shy about my “Marilyn Monroe” figure and used to conceal my voluptuousness with loose-fitting clothes. Flash forward to my twenties, thirties, and now forties, I have learned to embrace my femininity and accept my womanly figure that is not so typical of an Asian female. Femininity is a part of who I am and how God has created me. This is the goddess essence that has emerged powerfully in my forties that I hope to inspire all modern day women to own and embrace regardless of their age.

I love how animals are naturally drawn to me, especially island cats!

I certainly have not experienced my 50’s and 60’s yet. But all I can say is “WOW” to my forties decade. Life can’t get better than this! I know who I am, what I want, and that includes what I do not want. I no longer make my life’s decisions based on needs, but instead, they are based on what I choose and what I desire.  How about you? What is a favorite decade of your life?

I do not need someone to buy me flowers and make me happy.

 

 

Jeans and Jazz on the Potomac

 

Clear blue sky and wonderful view of the Lincoln Memorial.

I had so much fun this past Sunday evening spending quality time with some of my favorite goddesses and fans dancing the night away on the Potomac at Jeans and Jazz – On the Water benefiting We Will Survive Cancer. The music was good to dance to, the view was nice to look at, and the sunset was beautiful! Oh and the Belly Dancer,  Asala El-Masri, was gorgeous and seductive!

With my busy schedule and so many causes in Washington DC Area, I can’t give all my time away without making time for me. So I usually am selective about what events to attend and support. Jeans and Jazz on the Water will take place again next Summer and I hope to have you join me there.

Below are some photos from the event in case you are interested.

Gorgeous Persian Goddess Karen Sami is the heart behind this fun event with the cute bartenders!

I love these two goddesses! Gayela, on the right is the Founder of We Will Survive Cancer!

Karen, the goddess hostess loving life along with some of our fans.

It’s not a goddess photo unless a titan sneaks in.

Gorgeous goddess bombshells!

The Iphone 7plus is not so bad for night time.