Finding Strength in Softness, Part 2

I now have no problem enjoying the water in my birthday suit.

You have read the first part of Finding Strength in Softness. Here is part 2 so you can see where she is at in her goddess transformation and awakening journey. Enjoy reading! I am so proud of her!

I think that a lot of women, myself included, feel silly when they dare to think that they’re “sexy.” And the sad truth is that it’s likely because of the criticisms we feel from other women when we own our fierceness.

As an overweight youth, and very overweight young adult, my body is not something I’ve ever reveled in. It was never what gave me confidence or made me feel free. In fact, it was my prison, holding me back from opening up to people, feeling confident, or comfortable in my own skin.

Surprisingly, losing a significant amount weight did not result in those things either. I became perhaps even more self-conscious of my body than I had been previously. What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that self-worth was the key to bringing out that freedom, not the physical changes. And that was  something I had not yet fully developed until earlier this year.

And what naturally happens when you begin to stand fully in your self worth? You get tested.

I now love to flirt and have fun and especially when in front of the camera.

Recently, on a boat outing with my friend and unintentional style goddess and teacher of femininity, tu-anh love, I was presented with perhaps the smallest outfit I’ve ever put on my body and instructed to pose in it for a professional photographer. I’ve worn shirts with double the fabric of this supposedly “full-body” get-up. With two men on the boat with us, I was feeling especially conscious of my body and what it must look like in this teeny piece of fabric. Pre self-worth (and wine), I would have refused. But my will is not as persuasive as the creative life force known as tu-anh.

And I can’t lie… I felt sexy. Like, seriously sexy. And I wasn’t *hating* the encouragement from our men. In this space, with these people, in the sun and on the water (my happy place), I gave myself permission to not overthink it and simply just have fun. I’ll admit, it took all of those elements to get me to that mental space. But now that I’ve experienced that, it’s incredibly difficult to go back.

Fashionably fabulous and free she felt in this little piece of style.

What’s changed since then?

  • I’m not shy about being in a bathing suit — and no longer care that I don’t have a model body.
  • I don’t feel shy about owning my femininity.
  • I flirt, a lot actually. At the gym, the grocery store, walking in my neighborhood…
  • I post photos on Instagram just because I feel sexy and want to share and empower other women. No more shame in my game!
  • I don’t take myself so seriously because life’s too short.

More importantly, what I’ve discovered for myself is that sexiness isn’t about looks. It’s about freedom. Freedom from what anyone else thinks — and freedom from the thoughts that used to hold me back. And wow, the power that can be gained from that. Ladies, I’m daring you to embrace your femininity,  your sexuality and do it with no fear, no shame, and no guilt! I will be back for my finale!

tu-anh Love and I on one of our boat outings…

Unblock Your Throat Chakra with Blue!

I love plants and flowers! This is my favorite season for gardening!

In the world of Buddhism, the color blue is the color of purity, tranquility, and of healing the soul. In the history of the United States of America, blue stands for perseverance, vigilance, and justice.  And in my world of love and light, blue represents heaven, truth, honor, freedom, intelligence, kindness, trust, loyalty, and the Mediterranean Sea!

Let’s honor and send gratitude prayers to those who died while serving our country.

On the spiritual level, blue is the color of the Throat Chakra, our communication center. When you can communicate your truth freely and clearly with ease, you will become your most authentic self, the self that you were meant to be. How often do you take the time to listen to your higher self and speak honestly and openly without fear? Do you often express what needs to be expressed and say what needs to be said? If your answers are no, then it means that your Throat Chakra may need some healing and balancing. That is simple and easy to do! Why not start with baby steps by wearing blue? It is my favorite color other than pink.

I love to recharge by the water in silence and under the clear blue sky.

Happy Memorial Weekend! I hope you are enjoying the start of Summer. The photos are compliments of Charles Martin Photography in my favorite blue dresses from our goddess collection at the sanctuary. I hope it inspires you to add more blue in your wardrobe if you are not already doing so. Until next time!

~tu-anh love

Animals, of course are one of the best form of therapy!

21 Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

Motivational image from my father.

Thich Nhat Hanh, my spiritual mentor has given me so much knowledge and wisdom on love and self- enlightenment that I would like to share with you.  The questions below which I took from his book, How to Love, will give you a better understanding of the relationship with the one you love, or with the one whom you believe you once loved. I am hoping that you will take the time to do this short exercise and experience its healing effect. These questions not only will help you in your existing relationship, but also in the strained ones. If you need to make a decision on whether or not to release a relationship that has not fulfilled you emotionally and spiritually, these questions will definitely open your mind to what is true for you and help you find the answer to love.

I, too have a confession to make: I once had a soulmate relationship with an intelligent, kind, handsome, and very chivalrous titan that dragged on and off for over 15 years and that was not good for my emotional well-being. Even though he is no longer in my life, my heart was wishy-washy about letting thoughts of him go. I kept imagining what it would be like if miraculously, he were to change and open his heart to me and allow his vulnerable side to be revealed. I never had the chance to know him deeply and truly. Finally, I have decided to do this heartfelt exercise below just to experience release and closure.  To my surprise, I was able to release him from my heart and healed my soul.  I am complete with this relationship.  I invite you to try answering these questions and experience it for yourself…

20 Questions for Looking into your Relationship – by Thich Nhat Hanh

  1. Are you in love? Yes, I think so.
  2. Are you still in love? Yes, I think so.
  3. Do you want to reconnect with the person who used to be the one you love? I am not really sure.
  4. Do you think that this person is happy? No, I don’t think so.
  5. Do you have the time for each other? I can make time for him, but I cannot answer for him.
  6. Have you been able to preserve your true presence for yourself and for the other person? Yes of course, but I don’t always feel that he is present for me.
  7. Are you capable of offering him or her freshness every day? Of course I am because routine bores me and I like exploring and trying new things.
  8. Do you know how to handle the suffering in yourself? Yes I do, but when it comes to Love, I am not so certain that I have mastered this area.
  9. Are you able to help handle the suffering in the other person? Yes, I believe I am able to do so…but the one I love has never showed his true suffering to me.
  10. Do you understand the roots of your own suffering? Yes I do.
  11. Are you able to understand the suffering in the other person? I have yet to experience any true suffering in him.
  12. Do you have the capacity to help the other person suffer less? Yes I do if he allows me to.
  13. Have you learned the way to calm down your painful feelings and emotions? Yes, I have truly.
  14. Do you have the time to listen to yourself and your deepest desire? Yes I do make the time to listen to myself, but as for my deepest desire related to love, I have not truly made the time.
  15. Do you have the time to listen to him or her and to help him or her suffer less? Yes I can make the time but I haven’t been given the opportunity to know what the suffering is.
  16. Are you capable of creating a feeling of joy for yourself? Yes absolutely, it’s my favorite thing to do.
  17. Are you capable of helping the other person to create a feeling of joy? Yes I am confident I can do that if he gives me a chance to do so. 
  18. Do you feel you have a clear spiritual path? Yes, wholeheartedly.
  19. Do you have the feeling of peace and contentment within yourself? Yes!
  20. Do you know how to nourish your love every day? Oh my Goddess, Yes!

How to Love is my very favorite book and I truly believe that every goddess and titan needs to have it in their personal library collection and read it often. Try to answer these questions for yourself and allow your heart to truly awaken and feel the love that is right for you. Remember to always be truthful with what is in your heart. If you are up for it, answer my question below after you have finished the 20 questions above.

  1. Can you see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life? No, because I do not believe that I can truly be my passionate, creative, wildly-mad-about-life goddess self! So you can imagine that this question obviously helped me to move on and release him from my life.

So there you have it. I am healed from this emotionally unfulfilling relationship. And please don’t even try to entertain the thought of who this titan could possibly be because that is for me to know and for you to always wonder about…. 🙂 xo

This love is real and long-lasting!