What is Finding Strength in Softness?

 

Being a strong woman does not mean losing your femininity. ~tu-anh

Happy New Moon in Gemini, the sign of the twins!

Today’s post is from a very dear goddess who has been a part of my tu-anh love “Awakened and Alive” community for quite sometime. This beautiful expression of herself, her life transformation, and her vulnerability exposed touched me and I thought you would be inspired by it as well. And for those ladies that are constantly sharing with me how they keep attracting weak men, let’s begin by letting your inner feminine come out to play and have some fashionably fearless forties fun!

This is before goddess transformation.

When I first stepped into Tu-anh boutique in 2015, my outer self seemed to stick out like a sore thumb… but my inner self was HOME. What was this magical dimension I had entered into? At the time, my inner masculinity tended to steal the show. What was missing in my life was a full expression of my femininity. Since that time, I’ve explored a life full of ruffles, flowers, spirituality and sensuality… with the unexpected benefits of deeper, more authentic connections and a much more powerful sense of self.

Smiling flirtatiously while I take her photo at our “Awakened” goddess retreat in Dominican Republic in 2017.

What I have learned:

  • A soft and feminine look does not make you appear weak to others – it makes you appear approachable. A way of being that welcomes others into your world creates not only more authentic connections but a much stronger position.
  • Femininity isn’t just a “look”… it’s a way of being that brings out your most authentic, vulnerable self. I am now okay with people helping me with a project or paying for dinner. I also now enjoy expressing how I really feel. While that used to feel like a weakness to me, I’ve experienced more freedom and power than I ever could have imagined by being more open and honest with the people in my life.
  • In dating, if you want to attract a strong, confident and self-assured alpha-male, you have to be willing to show your femininity and vulnerability. I had been searching for the Yin to my Yang – but was giving off Yin vibes myself. The end result? Attracting weaker men who were seeking someone strong to support or help them.
  • Never wait for someone to buy you flowers! Each week, I buy four bouquets of flowers for my home, and have found it to be one of the quickest ways to bring love and light into my world. Similar expressions of self-love, like getting a massage, journaling or meditating, are regular habits that have attracted even more love and abundance into my life.
  • Being ok with vulnerability has opened me up to experiences I would never have allowed myself to be in before, as I would not have wanted anyone to see me fail. From Salsa dancing to karaoke to riding a bike (that’s a long story), I have conquered fears and experienced new levels of joy that my former need to be in control was blocking from my life.
  • The biggest thing I have learned is that I really like being feminine. In 2015, 90% of the items in my closet consisted of black, beige or stripes. I was projecting a false sense of power and control that was surely blocking people and experiences from my life. These days, you’d be hard-pressed to find many tops or dresses in my wardrobe that aren’t white, pink and/or off-shoulder.

This is she recently after a Polished by tu-anh make-up touch-up before an event.

The best thing about tapping into my feminine power is that it has allowed me to express my more masculine side in business without feeling drained. There is now balance between both sides of my personality.  This new way of being has opened me up to a life that I could not have imagined just three years ago… a life of creativity, passion and self-discovery… a life fully-expressed.

Well, I hope you like what you have read. Stay tuned for the reveal of who this amazing and beautiful soul is on her next phase of feminine power awakened and transformed. 🙂 Until next time…~tu-anh

This is she recently at We Will Survive Cancer Charity event with me.

Her closet is no longer of just black. It is more balanced and stylish now.

Rose Quartz, the Gem of Love

Rose Quartz helps you to attract romantic and unconditional love.

Are you under stress and deprived of love and romance? Are you currently suffering from a broken heart? Or are there feelings of anger, jealousy, and resentment deep within you? If you have answered yes to one or all of those questions, then you must incorporate rose quartz and its divine feminine power in your life. There are rose quartz in my goddess jewelry collection at the sanctuary and recently, I have just added some beautiful semi-precious gem stones and the Madagascan rose quartz is one of my favorite healing stones for the modern day goddess clientele. I love its powerful and sensual energy so much that I even bought a one for my night stand to keep the romance alive in my life.  Also known as the “Gem of Love,” Rose Quartz is associated with femininity, compassion, and unconditional love. It helps to open up the Heart Chakra allowing it to give and receive love without emotional constraints and to keep one’s aura inviting to the opposite sex. Rose Quartz has been used in very old cultures for their highly effective ability to balance the emotions, bring calm and transform our hearts into tremendous sources of unconditional love and light without bounds and without fears. It frees us from past wounds and trauma, no matter how deep. It also helps the dying to lovingly and peacefully transition into the afterlife.

When you have a chance, come visit our goddess sanctuary and gift yourself something of Rose Quartz from our collection, a truly magical and sensual gem stone of love and divine feminine energy. Until next time.

My favorite inspirational morning cup of coffee as part of manifesting my dreams meditation.

Secrets to a Harmonious Divorce

IMG_2724Divorce: A permanent separation or a formal ending of a marriage between two people who were once connected.

We have seen it, heard it, observed it, and perhaps even experienced it ourselves: how unpleasant, emotionally stressful, and mentally draining a divorce can be between two people who once were madly in love with each other. Do all divorces have to end so ugly? I do not believe so, and I am speaking from my own personal experience.

On my 42nd birthday almost two years ago, the court granted my request to divorce my best friend and soulmate.  Did our divorce end on bad terms? Certainly not, but that does not mean it was not stressful.

Many people were quite surprised. They thought that my ex and I were perfect for each other since we were both driven and outgoing entrepreneurs who also share similar values and upbringings. But that was not enough. When you have two passionate, impatient, driven, hot-headed, and equally strong-minded crazy entrepreneurs together…it equates to an explosion, an imbalance of yin and yang energy.

On paper and in photographs, it seemed perfect.  In reality, we both knew that we needed to be each other’s opposite balance, and that was quite difficult.  For almost two years, we sought coaching, couple’s therapy, retreats, prayers, and romantic getaways to make things work.  At one point, we even thought that perhaps having a baby would change it all, and thank goddess we did not go that route. It just was not in the stars for us to be together as a couple.

We both still love and respect each other very much; we are each other’s best friend and family. Don’t get me wrong: it was very emotionally stressful, and it felt like failure because we both do not give up that easily. But we did promise each other that we would work together to make it a harmonious and painless separation.  And we did so through honest communication. We stayed 100% open and upfront with each other the whole time even when it was difficult and confronting.

I have friends and clients who are going through nasty divorces that have been dragging on for years. It is even more difficult and complicated when children are involved.

While each journey is different, here are some things my ex and I did along the way that contributed to our divorce being harmonious and heartache-free:

  1. Honest and open communication.  During the whole journey, we stayed in communication and shared our thoughts openly, even when they were not so positive.  We knew where we stood with one another.  There was no guessing or playing of games or even walking on eggshells.
  2. Assume good intent. Even before we were married, we were partners in crime and we watched each other’s backs. In this situation we wanted the best for each other. I wanted him to be happy, and he the same for me.
  3. Respect.  What more can I say? The only reason why divorces end ugly is because the two people who were once madly in love have lost respect for one another.  In our case, we have always respected each others’ decisions, actions, opinions, and beliefs. 
  4. Treat it like business. You may not think this is romantic, but really, if you can put your emotions aside and treat your divorce like a business exchange (as you should all relationships to an extent), you both will be much happier.  Communicate, collaborate, prioritize, strategize, plan, and visualize a positive desired outcome. This will help tremendously.
  5. Speak your truths and express yourself.  Please listen to me: no matter how bad it is, speak your truth, even when you know the other person may not want to hear it.  By speaking your truth, you build trust with the other person so that they know you are not just putting up a front.  This will put them less on the defensive side and encourage them to share their truths with you as well.  Getting the unsaid said is the best thing you can do for any relationships.
  6. Lastly, take care of yourself, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  Seek help and support by talking to friends, family, a trusted advisor, or get professional counseling. Exercising and eating healthy, along with lots of sleep, really helped me with my emotional stress. Also, prayers, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, and spending time with my little nieces was oh so heart-healing and calming of the mind. But the biggest stress reliever for me was writing. I wrote in my journal a lot – some days, it was pages and pages of thoughts and emotions….and that is how this blog was born. It has been so therapeutic for me in my spiritual journey of self-discovery and awakening.

Currently, I am in a good place and ready to start a whole new life.  My ex and I are still best friends, and he is one of my biggest clients that I support and counsel. He is dating a wonderful goddess and has already moved on with his life. As for me, I am spending a lot of time getting to know myself and dating me for the first time. It’s actually quite fun and I am loving it! My whole life has been around others’ happiness before my own. Now it is time for me to rejuvenate and put myself first. It feels like being born again. The exciting part is I get to create and design the life I have always wanted. 🙂

Do I see myself being married again? Absolutely! Only this time, my recipe for a happy and long lasting marriage will be of my own, and not of my family, my friends, my culture, nor the Catholic church.  Are you going through a tough divorce right now? Please let me know if I can support you in any way.

Much Love Always,

tu-anh