It’s Time to Quit Complaining!

IMG_1834Being in the personal and professional development world,  I am often asked whether there is any value to complaining and listening to complaints. After all as Steven Gaffney shares…

“Complaints allow us to be aware of what is on someone’s mind and the act of complaining gives the complainer the opportunity to get things off their chest. The answer is yes, of course. Complaining has its place, and venting can be useful to clear one’s mind. The trouble comes when complaining is recurring, because that’s a signal nothing is getting resolved.” 

I am guilty of venting and sometimes complaining. But since I have a lot of titan energy in me and I am also a fixer and a problem solver, I most often will attempt to get those issues and challenges resolved or fixed.

So how do you deal with someone who is complaining a lot to you about the same issue?

In a recent blog post, Author, Speaker, Leadership Advisor, and Communication Expert Steven Gaffney explains how this behavior can negatively impact the morale, productivity, and growth of an organization.  He offers this advice: “To eliminate and resolve complaining, you have to understand what drives complaints. The number-one reason why people are not able to stop complaining is because they are not dealing with the real underlying issue.”

So if you have someone in your life who is constantly complaining about the same issue, you should have them read Just Be Honest!

Assume That You May Be Wrong…


This is so cute!

This is so cute!

How many relationships in your life have been ruined because you assumed something without finding out the real truth?

How much time, money, and productivity have been wasted at your job due to people making assumptions and acting upon them?

When was the last time you assumed that you may be wrong?

I have experienced all of the above over the years and still experiencing it now almost all the tim. This at times can be quite frustrating.  At the same time, I have in the past also contributed to the assumption community as well in a not so great kind of way.

Out of all the assumptions that communication expert and leadership advisor, Steven Gaffney talks about, my favorite is “Assume You Could Be Wrong”. At work, when we assume that we may be wrong, we would ask all the right questions to get the answers we are looking for and the details that we need before execution.  Have you ever completed a project and later find out it was done completely wrong? What did you learn from that experience? Who were involved and why did that happen?  Was it due to you or others just executing on assumptions rather than going directly to the source to get what you needed? This is often the challenge I face with my creative team members.  Thinking and working like a business person just does not come naturally to them.  Their favorite line is “Yes I can!” Then I discover later that a project was not done correctly to meet my expectations and deadlines. This is usually due to the lack of communication and not embracing the “Assume you could be wrong” mentality.

When we assume we may be wrong, our work and home life would be so much more productive and less stressful. Our relationships would improve, too. For the next 28 days, I invite you to embrace “Assume You May Be Wrong” mentality and start applying it in your life immediately.  Keep me posted on your transformation and the things that come up for you at work and in your personal life. I assure you that if you stay consistent and stick to it, you will see the wonderful changes that will happen. If anything, you will earn respect and admiration from others for taking this on as well as improve your relationships with others.

As for leaders, you will inspire and influence your people and motivate them to do the same when you apply this principle when leading. For more on this topic, I encourage you to visit Steven Gaffney’s website or read his books as he is the expert in this area. He has been my communication and relationship advisor on this journey in the past 10 years. His books are also available in our goddess sanctuary as well since this is something I stick true to.

Until next time… ~tu-anh

Getting to the Honest Truth Communication Seminar

Want to know the secrets to having great, productive and healthy relationships in your workplace and also personal life?  I want to share with you a great and rare opportunity coming up next month!   Steven Gaffney, the master and expert in  “HONEST COMMUNICATION” is the person responsible for transforming all my relationships in the past several years will be delivering one of his key seminars on August 28.  Regardless of where you are in your career or personal  life, or how old you are, everyone could use some tips how to communicate more effectively and  experience remarkable transformations in their relationships.  This is very rare that the seminar is open to the public!  I encourage you to invite the people you work with and those close to you.  When you learn these powerful tools, you will want everyone around you to also benefit from it.  Space is limited.

Click on the image below to download the registration PDF info.  If you would like to know more about Steven and his company, visit  I look forward to  seeing you there.  And of course, feel free to email me at if you need anything or have questions.Getting to the Honest Truth seminar poster