What Does it Mean to be Spiritually Connected to Someone?

Candles, prayer, and meditation is one of the best way to heal spiritually.

Candles, prayer, and meditation is one of the best way to heal your heart.

I often get asked about spirituality and how to know if you are spiritually connected to someone.  To be honest, I have no idea. But I know from my own personal experience, a spiritual relationship is there to teach us a lesson. For me, this lesson had to do with my fear of abandonment and it goes back into my childhood.  It is a lesson I am learning to release, heal and let go.

To answer your question, a spiritual relationship is when two whole and balanced individuals coming together and completing each other in order to fulfill their life’s mission in serving humanity. It is the harmonizing of the Yin and Yang within them. The love they have for each other is unconditional and without any fears, hidden agendas, or secrets. This is a relationship that gives freely, shares freely, and loves freely without needing to question why.

When you have a spiritual connection with someone, your ego and public persona is put aside and you can be yourself and are not afraid to feel vulnerable around them because you know that they will protect you regardless.

When you spiritually connect with someone, it is beyond sharing interests, hobbies, material wealth, business, or such things. It is with them that you share deeper things— values, dreams, and a way of looking at the world through love and truth. They inspire you to grow, have closure with your past, heal your wounds, be your best self, and pursue your dream.  They are your complement and perfect equal.  You both are connected at the heart and soul level. Even when you don’t see them or hear from them, you still know that they are there and they are with you in spirit.  How do I know this? I just do. 🙂

Walking along the river in Rome.

Walking along the river in Rome was my therapy from the crowded scenes.

My favorite thing to do in Rome. Walking through the Borghese Park to get to the Gallery.

My favorite thing to do in Rome. Sitting at Borghese park and staring at the sky.

 

Top Five Love Life and Sleep Killers?

Today’s blog topic is my favorite: the bedroom, the most neglected space in the home.  This is the space where many people think they can be untidy and messy because no one sees it.  But to me, this is the space that we should take care of because it brings out our sensuality.  Your bedroom should feel inviting and exciting for passionate love-making, but at the same time promote calmness for a good night’s sleep.  So let me ask you this – on a scale of 1-10, (10 being great and 1 being not great at all) how would you rate your bedroom?  If it’s not a 10, then what would it take to make it a 10?

In my experience of decorating and designing bedroom spaces over the past 15 years including my own, here are the top 5 things that are love life and sleep killers…

1. Having a single night stand or two un-identical ones.  You should have identical night stands and bedside lamps to promote balance and respect in your relationship.  If you are single, you still need two identical night stands.  It is important to live as if you are already in a relationship.  For me as a woman, if a guy does not have two identical night stands in his bedroom, it means that he does not care to be in a committed relationship and if he was in a relationship, he would not be as thoughtful and considerate as a partner.

2. Clutter.  If you do not feel comfortable sleeping in the messy chaos of your own bedroom, then why would anyone else want to sleep there with you?  Would you want to see all that clutter before you go to bed and then see it again first thing when you wake up?

3. Electronics and technology.  Honestly, I think the majority of couples and single men I know have a TV, stereo system, computers and laptops, or some kind of electronics in the bedroom.  Once the lights are off, you should be in the bedroom for some passionate hanky panky or simply just to get some restful sleep…make sense?  Your emails can wait!  Besides, what are you doing bring the TV room or the office into your bedroom in the first place?

4. Mirrors.  A mirror facing the bed directly or positioned where you can see yourself while sitting or lying in bed is very bad Feng Shui. It depletes your personal energy when you need it the most: at night while your body is resting and restoring its energy for the next day. A mirror in your bedroom also represents having a third party involved in your love life.  This could be work, health issues, in-laws, friends, or even an affair, none of which are good for a loving and healthy relationship.

5. Bad color and pattern choices for bed spreads.  When it comes to Feng Shui, the secret is the balancing of Yin (feminine-calm) and Yang (masculine-active) energy.  Your bedroom’s purposes are rest and activity (sensual and passionate activity).  Having bed spreads that are black, brown, navy, green, gray, strong blue, plaids, checks, or funky patterned bed sheets will kill your love life. Furthermore, those prints and colors do not promote restful sleep either.  This to me is common sense, but I have seen so many people use these colors in their bedrooms, especially men!

Creating an inviting, relaxing, and sensual bedroom is easy.  All you have to do is have nice mood lighting, soft music, lavender-patchouli scented candles, red, peach or pink flowers, and 100% cotton sheets in white and soft colors or floral patterns along with high-quality down pillows and comforters.  Make sure to balance the yin and yang (feminine and masculine energy).  You do not want too much of one energy over the other.

There are many more tips I can give you related to this topic, but this is a simple list to help get you started. Below I have included some examples of balanced bedroom décor and accents.  Need help?  Contact me…

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At the Edgewater Hotel in Seatle, Washington.  It is almost perfect.  I would make the other night stand identical, add some fresh red flowers by the bedside as well as 2 red candles, take out the teddy bear, and add another red pillow for even number.  The natural material bed posts enhances warmness to the space.

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At the Shangri-La Hotel, Tokyo where I was staying back in November.  If it was my bedroom, I would make the bed a little fluffier and not as perfectly in place, add 2 red candles in vanilla-patchouli scent, and of course, some fresh red flowers and remover the clock and the phone.

This is an example of flowers that I would fill my bedroom with depending on what is in season.

This is an example of flowers that I would fill my bedroom with depending on what is in season and this is my side of the bed.

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The nude male torso sculpture adds a nice touch to the male side of the bed.

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This is the kind of sculpture you should have in your bedroom.

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Paintings like this one from Stefan Kuhn are the perfect art for your bedroom wall to promote passion and sensuality.

What tu-anh Will Do Before 2014

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Stretching outside of beach house #34 of Castle Hill Inn.  I am all about creating balance.  Doing yoga and meditation this past year has helped me tremendously and I will continue to do more of that in 2014.

Can you believe it?  Another year has passed.  As we say goodbye to 2013, here is another opportunity for a fresh start.

The next two weeks for me will be all about out with the old and in with the new.  That also means leaving behind what is not working and continuing with more of what is actually working in both my professional and personal life. Every year around this time, I get excited about what will be coming in the New Year.  I guess it has to do a lot with my childhood where change and uncertainty happened almost daily – that I so much have gotten used to.  This is why I adapt to new things, new people, new environments and surroundings, and new energy very easily.  I actually love it!

Below is a list of things I will be doing before year end that I want to share with you. Perhaps you may feel inspired to do the same as well. I know there is not much time left, but many of the things will not take that long if you do not over think, over analyze, or get overly emotional about them.  Trust me, this will help you to have another amazing new year. So see what you can do before the first of the year.  I will keep you posted on my progress as well!

1. Your office.  Declutter and organize.  Get rid of things that do not matter and file away things that do matter.  Do the same with your emails and voicemails. When you are done, then have the office maids in there doing a final cleaning.  And for good Feng Shui, buy a lucky bamboo or a nice healthy orchid and put it on your desk.

2. Your home.  (Warning: this may take longer if you get too emotional and attached to things.) First, go around every single room and get rid of dead plants and dead flowers.  They do not represent life.  Then water the living ones and trim away the dead leaves. Give them some love! Next, go around and tackle all the closets. Do you have clothes and shoes that you have not worn in years, thinking that you may be able to fit in them again one day?  If that one day has not come yet it never will, sorry to say.  Just donate them to your local Goodwill.  Same goes with other junks in the closets that you have no use for.

The kitchen in America today is a place for social gatherings, that is why in real estate having a nice and open kitchen will increase the value of the home.  So make sure to clean out the fridge, the pantry, any excess of things you do not need or food that is unhealthy for you.  If you have windows in your kitchen, add a touch of life with potted herbs.

As for the walls throughout your home, take down artwork and pictures that do not make you feel good when looking at them; only put up art that you love.  And if you want to start a new and healthy relationship, get rid of photos and letters of ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, whatever you call them.  Trash them or put them in a storage space that is far far far away from your home.  Please note, the garage does not count as storage. You should be cleaning and organizing that space, too.

Now, let’s take care of the most important space: your bedroom! If you want to take your current relationship to the next level or attract a loving and healthy relationship, buy new sheets, comforters, pillows, blankets, towels, rugs, toiletries, and even new curtains.  The worst thing you can do for that special love of your life is making that person share those things from your past.  It is unfair and not good Feng Shui.  Please remember that this also includes your lingerie, pajamas, boxers, undergarments, etc. that you wore while you were with other partners.  I know you are thinking this is costly and a lot of effort, but it does not have to be if you keep things simple. This is only for the serious and the committed, definitely, not for the players…Need some ideas to spice up your love life?

Once you are done with your home, also make sure to have the maids come in and do an overall cleaning.

3. Your mobile phone.  Some of you may already do this, but you should be going through your mobile phones and delete unpleasant text messages, photos of past partners and lovers, and voicemails every few weeks or so.  Then scroll down your contact list and delete contacts that bring out negative feelings in you or you have no further use for them, except if they are members of your family.  They are who they are and you can not change them.  No matter how tempting it is, do not delete your own family.  It’s mean and bad karma!

4.  Your relationships.  When was the last time you had a relationship check up? This includes your sweetheart, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your bosses, your peers, and any one else that is important to you.  Reach out to them and ask them on a scale from 1-10 how would they rate your relationship, and if not a 10, what would it take to make it a 10?  If you are still harboring resentments or issues with anyone, just get it on the table and have an open talk about it.  Get that resolved and don’t allow it to linger around into the new year.  Need help on how to do this? Click here to find out.

5. Your appearance.  This is simple.  Get a hair cut or touch up your roots if they are starting to show not in a flattering way.  Get a pedicure, manicure, wax, shave, whatever you need to do to look good and feel good for the new year.  You should do this regularly.  When you look good, you feel good and you become more confident, too.

6. Your mind.  As my business mentor Dr. Alan Weiss mentioned this week at the Million Dollar Consulting College I attended in Newport, RI, “The key to having ideas is to empty your head.”  Our minds are like computers.  If we fill them with junk and nonsense, it will slow us down.  If we want to be more creative and productive at work, why not empty the stuff that is in our heads? And from a personal perspective, if you get rid of the emotional clutter, resentments, chatters, and negative self talk, that will ease a lot of the stress and prevent aging, too.  Want to know how to free up your mind?

7.  Send a handwritten thank you note to someone special in your life.  Now that the above list is done, why not write thank you notes to people who have made a difference in your life this year and are important to you?  Make sure this is a handwritten notecard, no emails, voicemails, texts or phone calls.  Write it and send it via postal service.  It may just be for one special person – you decide.

8. Pray, meditate and appreciate.  Take a moment to say a prayer of thanks for the blessings in your life, for the opportunity to live, for the people in your life, for food, for shelter, for strength…If you do not pray, then meditate and focus on appreciating all the wonderful things in your life…visualize more of that. For me, I go the extra step after praying and meditating by writing in my journal and listing those appreciations.   Something like…..I am thankful for …I could write a book on all my appreciations 🙂

9. Your health.  In between the to dos, please remember to exercise, eat healthy, and get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a day.  You must take care of your mind, body, and spirit, not to mention that it helps prevent aging, too.  Try to fit in at least 45 minutes a day of walking, running, dancing, weights, sports, yoga, or shopping and fun girl time, whatever activity works for you.

10. Your time.  Okay, so mission accomplished!  How do you feel?  Now it is time for some self love.  We know that money can buy many things, but it can not buy time. When was the last time you took a long weekend off somewhere by yourself?  If you have not, choose a destination that you like and focus on doing only things you love while on vacation. Don’t bother to check emails or voicemails.  Just enjoy and have fun. The focus is only on YOU!  I know for givers and pleasers, this is hard to do, but just do it.  It’s worth it!  I have already planned mine to La Casa Que Canta!  Make sure to stay healthy while traveling too!

Now that you have done all of the above, it’s time to simply just relax.  Take a day off and do nothing, watch a movie and chill with your pet and sweetheart under a warm blanket, or do what I normally love to do, take a hot bubble bath with sea salt and fresh lemon juice, light up some patchouli/lavender scented candles, drink champagne or calming tea, play soft French music in the background and just think nothing.  Simply relax and enjoy being you.

Keep me posted if you end up using this list.  I plan on finishing all of this by December 30th.  Let’s keep each other posted on the progress.  Good luck and Happy Holidays….love…tu-anh