How To Be A Happy Man

David statud

This image of David by Michelangelo in my eyes represents a strong, solid, confident man comfortable in his own skin and ready to face life’s battles.  That, to me is masculinity and that is very attractive.

Enough blog posts for women. Since more than 50% of my readers are male, this one is just for you.  (And for my female readers, let’s share this with the men in your life!)

Recently, my friend Daniel shared with me this blog post for men “The 21 Things to Let Go to Become the Happiest Person in the World” by Andrew Ferebee.  Below are edited versions of some of my favorites from the list and I added an extra 3 of my own to make it 10 for you.  I grew up with 4 older brothers, so I understand that men are not as complicated as women. so I kept it simple for you with just 10.  Hope you will take away a few tips and take action to attract happiness now!

1. Let go of the past. Living in the past isn’t living at all. You can’t change your past, but you can shape your present to attract your ideal future. Accept the things that have come before as lessons learned.

2. Let go of the job you hate. You will live for on average 30,000 days. 10,000 of those days is spent working. When you actually stop and consider that, it’s obvious that working a job that makes you unhappy is completely insane. Why would anyone willingly spend a third of their life being miserable? Follow your heart and intuition and your ‘work’ will feel timeless. You can dramatically improve your happiness by letting go of the job you hate and start doing more of the things you love.  Resist the urge to do things solely for money and start doing the things that matter to you.

3. Let go of your need for control over everything. It’s true what they say: you’re only human. You’re no god. In general, expending energy trying to do impossible things is bad for your health. Controlling everything is one of those impossible things—and yet, many of us try to do it anyways, often without realizing it. Know that you can’t control much in life, but you can always control your reaction. When you let go of your need to control everything, you’ll feel much happier and have more time to do the things that truly matter.

4. Let go of thinking you are not enough. You are enough and you deserve to have everything that you want. You’re also your worst enemy and your hardest life critic. If you want a girl, go get her. If you see a business opportunity, go seize it. When you tell yourself you can’t do it, you’re always right. You can or you can’t. The decision is yours. Know who you are and be confident in what you bring to the table. You are enough, and nobody deserves happiness more than you.

5. Let go of attachment. At any second, on any day, at any moment, you could lose something or someone. Your house, your car, your phone, even your relationships—they’re impermanent, and none of them can make you 100% happy. Happiness comes from within and that’s not a bad thing. It’s the best thing ever, in fact: it means that you can be happy right now, provided you change your mindset and just let go of attachment to the unnecessary. The most satisfying experiences in life are those which are experienced without any sense of attachment.

6. Let go of all external validations. You know yourself better than anyone else. You also know, both instinctively and intellectually, what’s best for you. Don’t look to others to validate who you are and where you want to go. Just be you 100% of the time and never stop. The same goes for other pursuits. You don’t need alcohol or drugs to have a good time and be accepted in the social crowd. You control your own mood—you don’t have to be dependent on anything external. This applies to women as well: when you need validation from women to feel satisfied, you’re coming from a position of neediness and instability. You’re saying you’re too weak to be you without getting something from her.

7. Let go of bad relationships. You’ve probably known countless men who are miserable in their relationships. They complain about their girlfriends, they’re always fighting, and they make excuses not to be around them. Everyone around them wonders, why do they stay together? It’s never easy ending a relationship, but it’s like taking off a bandage: getting it over quickly is better than drawing it out.  What’s worse, each week you stay in the relationship is one week gone from your life in which you could have been happy, free of that weight and negative energy.

Never stay in a relationship just for the sex. Yes, physical attraction is a part of the formula for a healthy relationship, but it’s not the only thing. Choose wisely and never out of desperation, but always from a position of wholeness.

Here are my 3 additional tips for you that can help contribute to your happiness:

1.  Live with purpose.  I know some men who measure their life’s purpose by wealth and power.  When interacting with them personally and professionally, they share with me how lost and empty they feel inside. To truly live your life with purpose, you must know your core beliefs and values, and live with integrity and respect towards others, including yourself.  Most importantly, listen to your inner voice on what inspires and motivates you.  And even more importantly, go with what your heart tells you rather than your head like most people do.

2.  Take care of your health.  There is a saying that if God did not create it, then don’t eat it.  Difficult to do, isn’t it? Most foods that are bad for you taste so good and are hard to resist. Have respect for your body and excercise regularly. Eat healthy and balanced meals and get lots of sleep, at least 7 hours a night.  If you do that, you will feel good and will be more productive and successful at work.  You will also have more energy to spend quality time with your loved ones and that includes more satisfying and lasting love-making sessions with your sweetheart.  Trust me, this will make you feel even more confident and that is very attractive to women! (Note: yoga, meditation, or some form of dancing or martial arts will make you a better lover, too)

3.  Embrace your masculinity.  Want to know what this means in my definition?  It means you are confident, chivalrous, determined, persistent, fearless, emotionally grounded, internally controlled, focused, disciplined, not afraid of failure, and most importantly, not wishy washy. Need I elaborate more? (Please note: Whatever you do, never move in with a woman no matter how convincing she may be, it will end up disastrous and she may never respect you as a man again.  Trust me, I know plenty of men who have done this, and not one of them have been successful, including my own brothers… 🙂 The best situation is that you both work together to find your ideal place and then move in with each other. Most quality women I know would never move in with a man knowing that he has shared his place with others.  And that is bad Feng Shui for the relationship! )

Well, that’s it! I hope you enjoyed reading this post.  I really appreciate the comments and feedback some of you have been sending me.  Please continue to do so.  I wish you lots of happiness.  Love, tu-anh

2 thoughts on “How To Be A Happy Man

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